Category Archives: humor

Emil Guillermo: Chris Christie in the race means more sensitive rhetoric needed in campaign….

GOP candidates will now no longer be able to utter the phrase “elephant in the room.”

Satirical sources say this is Obama  telling Christie, there are no seats big enough currently in Air Force One to accommodate a Christie presidential victory.

But as Christie satirically said, “We’ll cross that bridge…”

Oops, another cliché his speechwriters will have to nix.


See my regular columns on the website.



Emil Guillermo: Some final thoughts while watching the last “Late Show with David Letterman.” And a correction: JEE!

I was very moved and touched by the last Late Show.

And glad Rupert had a slight cameo during the “Day in the Life …” segment.

And sorry to misspell Jee in some social posts.   I guess I wanted to be in the same alphabetized line as Rupert.  Go “G” team!

So let’s get that out of the way.

(The handshake on the Tuesday show was very touching)


There are just a few things I want to note about the last show:

First, the best Final Top Ten moment for me was Chris Rock’s line.

I know he was “joking.”  But you know what Freud said about jokes.  (They’re not really jokes).

Rock’s line: “I’m just glad the show is being given to another white guy.”

There was about :11 seconds of laughs, and then Dave topped it with, “You know I had nothing to do with that.”


But the other moment that informed that line, and the whole show for me was that “Day in the Life” vignette, the behind the scenes look at Dave’s day.

Sure, there was a shot of Rupert and a guy answering the phones, but you didn’t see a whole lot of people of color.

Especially in the key meetings when the show’s content was being decided.

I know. That’s just the way it happens.  But it was so glaring to me.

Dave’s a Midwest American guy. And things are changing.

In the monologue,  he joked about how the top-rated show when he started was “Keeping up with the Gabors.”

And there was the line about Elian Gonzalez.  Remember him?  I actually did Elian op-eds back in the day.

Dave’s joke: “What a case that was. The kid and Cuba and where should he go, the United States? He’s been in Cuba, and well, you’re not going to believe this. The kid is 21-years-old. Twenty-one-years old now. And yesterday, he announced he wants to come back to America. Now my question to you is….Should I take this personally?”

A 13-second laugh with applause.

“OK Thanks.”

More laughs. But that really is the story about this milestone of Dave’s retirement.

The world is changing.

And Dave, god love him, is just your old fashioned white guy, a tad more liberal than most, but he had open heart surgery when he was a young 52, and now at 68, he just wants to get to his wife and Harry (whom he introduced in a rare bit of sharing) and there’s nothing wrong with that. Because as he said, there’s nothing more important than that.

Dave’s  show was a pop chronicle of the times, and the show ending vignette was a reminder of the changing of styles, fashion, content, and how it all will go on. And change even more.  More diverse than before, maybe get even better, but without Dave.

And that’s ok, he got the parade to this point, and that’s a lot.

And now we’re in a completely different neighborhood.

Thanks Dave.

No sarcasm, just respect.

Thirty-three years is a long time.

It’s been 50 years since Selma, since Voting Rights, since the immigration gates opened to Asians in 65.

Dave’s show wasn’t perfect, nor was he (he was certainly no saint), but in what he did best, he helped us endure.

And now we’re on to the next late night.


Dave said something to the effect that all the stuff being said about him was over the top, which in most cases was the case. Then he said “Save something for the funeral.”

Which is also true.

But frankly, this doesn’t get into the sex scandal he had with an intern or two, all while in a relationship with the woman who would become his wife?  (Hey, don’t all white males of power have 1 or 2 of them? )

I also kept thinking about his quintuple bypass in 2000, when he was all of 52.

That’s young.

Maybe I’m thinking about all that because I just had my cholesterol checked.

The numbers were so low, the doctor prescribed me a pastrami sandwich.

And suggested my family buy a cow.  Doctors orders.

As a vegetarian, more vegan than not, I respectfully declined.

I hope Letterman’s  become vegetarian and not eating Rupert’s deli meats.

He’ll live longer.

By the way, did you catch the Leno reference in the bumper?

Ah, self-deprecation!



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Emil Guillermo: David Letterman had his own Asian Pacific American Heritage Month celebration this week.

Usually it’s some government office kind of event. But he honored his Asian American employees this week.

That’s what you get when you retire during heritage month.

See my tribute to Dave here.

See this clip of Asian American legend Connie Chung “singing” on Letterman in 1988.


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Emil Guillermo: Why are Filipinos always the punchline? Seeing FX’s “The Comedians” reminded me of a dumb joke in “Anchorman 2.”

We know that Manny Pacquiao can punch.

And that  the champ is nobody’s  punchline.


So why is it that in U.S. pop culture, that’s not true for the rest of us.

Have you noticed? Filipinos are way too often the punchline.


It happened again the other night on the FX debut of “The Comedians.” Joshua Gad jokes about joining Billy Crystal in a sitcom. Talking to his agent on the phone, Gad says he wants Latinos to see his work; And blacks; And that other group. You know that group….

The agent then says, “Filipinos?  (beat) They’re terrific.”

The tag doesn’t soften the blow.

Listen to the dialogue here: 150409_001

So we’re mentioned. That’s some consolation prize.  Inclusion? I didn’t see any Filipinos in the cast.

It reminded me how Anchorman 2 had a Filipino dog eating joke that was really offensive. See my take here.

Replace “Filipino” with “Jew” and you know there’d be cries of anti-Semitism. It would be  somewhat mitigated by the fact that the Jews are making the products on screen.

So that’s really the answer isn’t it? We  need to  see more American Filipinos producing and directing projects.

If that were the case,  we can tell our own dog jokes.


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Emil Guillermo: Religious Freedom Restoration Act? Why it’s to protect things like people crucifying themselves like they do in the Philippines. Right, Gov. Mike Pence? To prove it, he should stage a special Good Friday at the state capitol.

In the Philippines, they crucify people on Holy Week.



In fact, the guy who has done it 28 years running would like to retire. But this year, the town council can’t find a suitable replacement.

So he’s sticking to his nails. Because he’s a believer.

Now that’s an example of religious freedom!

And, if Gov. Mike Pence were serious about that Religious Freedom Restoration Act of his –as being for real and not just some legislation handcrafted at the local Hobby Lobby to keep liberal folk from dictating stuff like gay marriage and abortion into their conservative lives–then I’d say the Philippines, America’s First Colony, may have inspired  a simple solution.

On Good Friday, Pence should stage a public crucifixion at the Indiana State House.

You know, an Indy Golgotha kind of thing.

And Pence can be the penitent.

Really show off his faith in his bad law. Go hog wild. Maybe even have a big concert or a DJ giving it a whole rave kind of flavor.

Invite gays, all the minorities in Indiana,  make it a real party.

Then maybe we can take Pence  at his word, that the law is no license to discriminate but rather a license to practice religion, however extreme.

And he’s the example.

And think of the business. You know, those crucifixions in the Philippines draw thousands.  More than an Easter Egg hunt.

If he did that on Friday, I’d be ready for the Final Four by the weekend.

But I got to see Pence willing to, as they say, get his nails done.

Until then, I’m not buying anything Pence is saying about that bad law.

And after today, he doesn’t even have the “April Fool” excuse.

Don’t know if he’s really got a better option–beyond ripping up the law and forgetting it ever happened.

He’s already shown he’s willing to commit political suicide in the name of  conservative anti-gay religious zealots.

Let’s give him a chance to redeem himself on a the cross.


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