Category Archives: humor

Emil Guillermo: Why are Filipinos always the punchline? Seeing FX’s “The Comedians” reminded me of a dumb joke in “Anchorman 2.”

We know that Manny Pacquiao can punch.

And that  the champ is nobody’s  punchline.

DSC06620

So why is it that in U.S. pop culture, that’s not true for the rest of us.

Have you noticed? Filipinos are way too often the punchline.

WTF?

It happened again the other night on the FX debut of “The Comedians.” Joshua Gad jokes about joining Billy Crystal in a sitcom. Talking to his agent on the phone, Gad says he wants Latinos to see his work; And blacks; And that other group. You know that group….

The agent then says, “Filipinos?  (beat) They’re terrific.”

The tag doesn’t soften the blow.

Listen to the dialogue here: 150409_001

So we’re mentioned. That’s some consolation prize.  Inclusion? I didn’t see any Filipinos in the cast.

It reminded me how Anchorman 2 had a Filipino dog eating joke that was really offensive. See my take here.

Replace “Filipino” with “Jew” and you know there’d be cries of anti-Semitism. It would be  somewhat mitigated by the fact that the Jews are making the products on screen.

So that’s really the answer isn’t it? We  need to  see more American Filipinos producing and directing projects.

If that were the case,  we can tell our own dog jokes.

CHECK OUT THE NEW HOME FOR THE AMOK COLUMN: www.aaldef.org/blog

LIKE  and FOLLOW us on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/emilguillermo.media

And FOLLOW my latest tweets  on  Twitter    http://www.twitter.com/emilamok

 

Emil Guillermo: Religious Freedom Restoration Act? Why it’s to protect things like people crucifying themselves like they do in the Philippines. Right, Gov. Mike Pence? To prove it, he should stage a special Good Friday at the state capitol.

In the Philippines, they crucify people on Holy Week.

Really.

enajecrucifixion

In fact, the guy who has done it 28 years running would like to retire. But this year, the town council can’t find a suitable replacement.

So he’s sticking to his nails. Because he’s a believer.

Now that’s an example of religious freedom!

And, if Gov. Mike Pence were serious about that Religious Freedom Restoration Act of his –as being for real and not just some legislation handcrafted at the local Hobby Lobby to keep liberal folk from dictating stuff like gay marriage and abortion into their conservative lives–then I’d say the Philippines, America’s First Colony, may have inspired  a simple solution.

On Good Friday, Pence should stage a public crucifixion at the Indiana State House.

You know, an Indy Golgotha kind of thing.

And Pence can be the penitent.

Really show off his faith in his bad law. Go hog wild. Maybe even have a big concert or a DJ giving it a whole rave kind of flavor.

Invite gays, all the minorities in Indiana,  make it a real party.

Then maybe we can take Pence  at his word, that the law is no license to discriminate but rather a license to practice religion, however extreme.

And he’s the example.

And think of the business. You know, those crucifixions in the Philippines draw thousands.  More than an Easter Egg hunt.

If he did that on Friday, I’d be ready for the Final Four by the weekend.

But I got to see Pence willing to, as they say, get his nails done.

Until then, I’m not buying anything Pence is saying about that bad law.

And after today, he doesn’t even have the “April Fool” excuse.

Don’t know if he’s really got a better option–beyond ripping up the law and forgetting it ever happened.

He’s already shown he’s willing to commit political suicide in the name of  conservative anti-gay religious zealots.

Let’s give him a chance to redeem himself on a the cross.

CHECK OUT THE NEW HOME FOR THE AMOK COLUMN: www.aaldef.org/blog

LIKE  and FOLLOW us on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/emilguillermo.media

And FOLLOW my latest tweets  on  Twitter    http://www.twitter.com/emilamok

 

 

 

Emil Guillermo: Odd fund-raising pitch from Sen. Ted Cruz–a Bill Maher joke!

Sen. Ted Cruz  is sending out fund-raising e-mails with this joke:

“People have Ted Cruz fever! It’s kind of like that flu bug going around except the sh*t comes out your mouth!” – Real Time with Bill Maher

End result:  No money from me.

But it did soften me to Maher for all his recent generalizations about Muslims.

Maher knows his Ted Cruz disease.

Of course, what does this say about Cruz’s fund-raising tactics–

That he likes to crap on himself?

CHECK OUT THE NEW HOME FOR THE AMOK COLUMN: www.aaldef.org/blog

LIKE  and FOLLOW us on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/emilguillermo.media

And FOLLOW my latest tweets  on  Twitter    http://www.twitter.com/emilamok

 

 

Emil Guillermo: WARNING–If you see Dave Chappelle tonight (Wed., March 25) at Yoshi’s in Oakland, who knows what you’ll get. Good dangerous fun on Cosby, glory holes, Pope Francis, the “N” word, maybe a woman in a tiara, and more. BEWARE–explicit.

Yoshi’s is an intimate jazz club and Dave Chappelle seems perfect for the small venue addressing the crowd like a riffing’ improviser, more like a jazz performer than a standup.

 

chappellepic

(Dave Chappelle, in action previously)

 

You won’t have to rely on a Jumbo-tron to get the full Chappelle at a place like Yoshi’s, made for Chappelle’s laid-back, raw style, and an occasional flash of comic brilliance.

Currently, he’s easily in the top three or four comedy acts in the U.S., a short list that would include Louis C.K., Chris Rock, Aziz Ansari. Then Chappelle? Or Chappelle first? Jim Gaffigan in there? (For my money, yes). Chappelle’s four Oakland general admission shows this week sold out in hours for $65 a pop.  Ducats ended up on StubHub for more than $200 each. That’s standard these days for a top act like Chappelle.

By his own admission, he’s been on a two year tour since his return after walking away from his $50 million dollar Comedy Central show deal. And he’s banking as much as he can now.

So the live show in Oakland will be a mixed bad. Some rehearsed jokes. Some riffs off the news. A lot of crowd work. A lot of it. If you think crowd work is filler, and horseplay, then catch him free on YouTube.

At Yoshi’s, Chappelle was heavy on the crowd work: “You from Iran? Good luck with your nuclear program;” Another moment, Chappelle in his white voice to a well- dressed tech hipster in the crowd, “How’s the software going?”; When a train in Jack London Square could be heard, Chappelle turned that moment into gold: “A train whistle in Downtown Oakland…Seriously, this is like 1850s…I should get like 12 bikers together and we should rob a train!” Chappelle’s interplay between the jokes and the crowd is like watching a master mixer, an artist at work.

The live show isn’t canned and there’s its charm.

With Chappelle, there’s that ever-present sense of danger.

On Tuesday, Chappelle came out riffing on Cosby, the man whom he has called the reason he wanted to be a comedian from a very young age. Got to say, I remember listening to all the records myself as a young Catholic Filipino hearing the words, “Noah, how long can you tread water.”

Chappelle immediately starts surfing the crowd for laughs, beginning with his hero’s rape story. “Allegedly!” he cried out. “Allegedly…34 allegations…is….a lot….Still, man probably only raped 13 or 14 girls…. Raping girls with placebos….I don’t know if I believe it. I don’t know. What’s the point of f***ing a sleeping girl? Nothing? (laugh) This is the kind of thing you’re not supposed to say out loud but come on everybody, it’s kind of late on a Tuesday (it was around 1:20 a.m.) It’s not actually a bad question. What is the fun of f****** a sleeping girl?”

“I don’t know if I believe it. I don’t know. What’s the point of fucking a sleeping girl? Because if it’s good, I’m going to tell my wife,’ I’m going to f*** with you while you’re sleeping, is that cool?’”

And yes, that was the clean stuff.

I usually get upset hearing jokes about Asians. And Chappelle made comments about Malaysia Airlines losing a plane, and China losing planes. And it led to another yet another “bad Asian driver” joke:

“You can’t drive on the ground is one thing. But there’s a lot of room in the sky.” He didn’t have to go there. But he was on the offensive. It popped into his head.

No one was safe. Not even Pope Francis and his recent comments on homosexuality.

Chappelle: “He said, ‘Who are we to judge? You the pope, nigger.”

Next, up, Terrence Howard and the Fox TV hit “Empire,” commenting on the prominence of gays in show biz.

“You can tell the writers are gay because the gay characters are the most functional,” he said. “All of the sudden being gay and black are being heroic. All problems don’t come from being black but being gay.”

Chappelle then leans in as if whispering: “It’s not hard to be gay in show business, it’s actually easier that way.”

Then revealing the punch: If I had the courage to suck a d**k I’d be a lot further….”

It was one of his biggest laughs of the night.

You allow the political incorrectness as a way of getting to the truth.

You figure at a 1 a.m. show of one of the world’s top comedians, you’re going to get edge.

Still, there was one black woman with a tiara, who Chappelle couldn’t help but engage.

He was drawn to her, he said. That she was a lesbian brought on a fist pump from Chappelle who identified with her, ahem, M.O. But eventually Chappelle crossed the line and when the talk turned to glory holes and tranny anal, and well the woman with the tiara required kid glove treatment.

This is where Chappelle revealed a real sense of surprising heart and intimacy. You figure to get some combined with your penis jokes.

But anal sex with a tranny?

“Trying to get some parameters,” said Chappelle while still getting laughs. “I’m telling jokes. I feel sexual energy coming from you …I’m sorry I don’t mean no disrespect.”

The show continued and became the highlight of the show, because indeed, why not a glory hole?

“Is this crass? Chappelle asked. “I don’t mean to shock. Should I be more eloquent in my description.

What if there was a crevice?”

He kept going, then he went in for the finish. In a night of titters, it was a big moment of truth.

“Do not be offended by my jokes. I have the utmost respect for you and choices you make for yourself,” he said. Then in a throwback to all the past comic heroes, notably guys like Lenny Bruce, he says: “I don’t mean to overstep any boundaries. These are just mere words. Words are nothing but the best for its intentions. I will boldly control what I mean. The truth is what I said was funny because it was mean. I didn’t say it because it was mean. I said it because it was funny.”

“I’m sure in my heart of heart my intentions were good. Please forgive me,” said Chappelle. “I made some crass reference about ejaculating into a tiara. I just said it because it was funny.”

Crass and grace. Equals art?  Chappelle’s fans ate it up. The woman stayed.

Free speech is dangerous, sometimes funny at 2 a.m. in the morning, as Tuesday turns to Wednesday in Oakland and the train whistle blows.

CHECK OUT THE NEW HOME FOR THE AMOK COLUMN: www.aaldef.org/blog

LIKE  and FOLLOW us on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/emilguillermo.media

And FOLLOW my latest tweets  on  Twitter    http://www.twitter.com/emilamok