Category Archives: humor

Adventures in learning Facebook: I’m back on, but I didn’t get married on it

I just started up on Facebook again.

Maybe it was because I just went to a journalism conference and there was more interest it seemed in the digital media than there was in any other form of media. Should I trust it, most of the people at the conference don’t even know what a typewriter was.  But it’s a fact. FB is the internet, the better AOL, the place where people are. So I  am now on Facebook:

I’m on “Emil Guillermo Media”  Like me there.

And so as not to confuse my professional writing from my personal musings and pictures of food and stuff Asian Americans like me  like to post:

You will note that I was an early adopter of FB, starting up when they opened to the general  public in 2007. But I’m slow. I  didn’t become addicted until last week.

That’s all as a preface to this  note I posted on FB last week and that I repost here on my personal website. You see, I had an unintentional “life event” on FB, and I got to see how FB works so powerfully to connect people at the drop of the hat.

But as the Wall Street Journal would say, it required some “Clarification and Amplifcation.”

Here’s my note:

Dear Friends. I won’t bury the lead. I didn’t get married today. But hear me out, it’s kind of an interesting story. This is the first time I’ve been able to get to the computer to make amends for my errant post this a.m. As many of you know, I have “stayed away” from Facebook for many years. I was a bad FB’er. Maybe it was because I remember the original hardbound Facebook, where I would try to figure out how to meet some cute freshman from Radcliffe. But recently, I’ve been convinced that I should get on this thing (Zuckerberg will have Asian American babies and they will need help fighting any glass ceilings they might face). It’s also better than “aol” and where else can I go on the internet? So I have become a “user.” But still a neophyte. As I adjusted my status from “nothing” to “married,” I was in the wrong update area. And so instead of simply saying “I’m married,” it posted I had a life event and “got married.” This, of course, was news to my wife of 26 years as well. So this is turning into a life event all the same. I am hearing from many people who wish me well. I am grateful for that and I’m sorry to alarm you, though it is a bit like a happier, cyber version of Huck and Tom attending their own funeral. My wife Kathy and I actually eloped and many years ago (26 years this month) and never had a big party, so this is a reminder that when we do get around to that big party, you all can show up on FB and real life. We weren’t registered anywhere for this, so no harm there. I’m just gratified to see so many well wishers and hope this explanation helps straighten things out. And please rest assured, I did not do this to get another column topic. Though, I will add this to my file of “Adventures in learning FB.” This is my personal site where you will get stuff like this.Go to the Emil Guillermo Media fb site to get my other writing. Best to you all, Emil  P.S. and next time I get married, you definitely will be the first to know.



My Super Bowl prediction and an appearance on KQED’s “This Week in Northern California”; Plus, a late final addition about the 49ers’ super failure

Game time is coming up and I have completed all my superstitious rituals that have helped bring me to a vision, of which I will share with you now.

But before that, this could have been a very literary SuperBowl, what with the Ravens named after the masterpiece of famed Baltimore homey Edgar Allen Poe. 

What if the 49ers had been named after the work of a San Francisco literary figure. Kerouac? The Roadies? Jack London? The White Fangs? Danielle Steele? The Romancers?

No, no, no.  Last night, the movie version of the great Dashiell Hammett classic was on. Imagine the Ravens vs. the Maltese Falcons. 


OK, nevermore.

I’m feeling 24-20 for some reason.

Here’s how it goes, 49ers score first with an Akers field goal (hooray!) , then add a TD, a run by Frank Gore, then another by Kaepernick.  That’s 17 in one half.

The Ravens come back after the field goal to go ahead 7-3.

Niners make it 10-7.

Then make it 17-7 at half-time.

In the second half the Ravens come back, scoring to make it 17-14.

Twice more they penetrate 49er territory, but get only field goals to go ahead 20-17.

In the final quarter, the 49er offense wakes up with some long passes to Vernon Davis.

And then sensing man coverage at the line, Kaepernick uses his legs to score a game-winnng touchdown.

49ers go ahead, 24-20.

That’s my copyrighted vision of today’s SuperBowl  that I have licensed the 49ers to use as they wish.

If you’re a better and take the Ravens and the points, or the 49ers giving, the line is 4, and what do you know, it’s a push, a tie.

That should make the Harbaugh’s parents’ happy.

But the 49ers win the game.

BTW, I made a rare appearance on the KQED “This Week in Northern California” program where I joined a panel talking about immigration reform.

If you missed it, here’s a link to the TV show.

LATE ADD: OK, my prediction, the game, nothing worked out quite the way I said. For the most part, Beyonce won the game, as the 49ers were lip-synching through three quarters. But then came that 34 minute delay due to a power failure. You mean a 49er power failure wasn’t enough, now the Superdome had to be less than super?  And though what usually is spawned by a power failure is a baby boom nine months later, this power failure birthed an explosion of energy from the 49ers who nearly made it all the way back from the dead. 28-6 certainly made us all more interested in whatever buffet was before us and not the football game. But then, the 49ers began to play,  outgaining, outscoring the Ravens, topped off with a Kaepernick score to bring the 49ers to a 31-29 deficit.  The Ravens added a field goal making it 34-29. Then, with the ball on the Baltimore 5-yard line, the 49er juggernaut hit a wall–the Ravens defense. Four plays, goal to go, and nothing. No runs, passes. Lots of penalties. Oh, those aren’t penalties? Well then, the pistol was shot. The 49ers empty.

Oh, what could have been? From 34-29, the Niners go 36-34. Flacco and the Ravens still had a lot of time to drive for a game winning FG or a TD. Or maybe the 49er defense finally prevails. We won’t know that ending. We’re stuck with the one we’ve got.

A Super Bowl win you cherish and commemorate.  A Super Bowl loss burns eternally.

You do learn from it, as team and as a fan. And you go on from there, perhaps to achieve or witness greatness again.

But until that happens, you can never quite turn off the lights on such a super loss.


Sports: Asian-spotting the NFL: Claiming Robert Griffin III

By his place of birth, Redskin quarterback Robert Griffin III could be an Asian American.

Born in Japan, where his parents were serving in the Army, Griffin and his family moved back to the U.S. and lived in a number of places before settling on Texas.

Certainly, there are no shortage Asian American/Pacific Islander lineman and defensive stars in the league. But who wants to root for blockers all day? After his first day on the job, RGIII is going to be a massive offensive star in the NFL.

Before things get out of hand and he does more than Subway commercials, Asian Americans should just outright claim RGIII as one of ours.

We should learn from the Tiger Woods lesson. Let’s get him to at least acknowledge he’s an “NFL-sei.”

Why not? If he were born in Mexico, the GOP would call him Mexican and want him deported. Especially, if the immigration officials weren’t Redskins fans. Oh, and by the way, that name Redskins. Still? Really? You can’t be diversity’s team with a name like that.

I bet you the guy’s good at math, too.

For his incredible debut, RG3 for Asian American of the Week!